Me

Walking down a long stretch of road I look ahead and see nothing. There is nothing but road, nothing but sky and road, and I don't know where I am going. I don't know my destination. I know I am different, I know I have changed. But have I? I have a ticking time bomb inside me, I don't know when it will explode. I don't know if it ever will. I'd like to think it won't. I'd like to think I will be around for years, to turn old and grey. I already am, well the grey part at least, but the old not so much. I feel in my heart like a kid. Like I am still that 21 year old without a care, the one that can take on the world. Before all the heartache, before the loss, before the craters were formed in my heart. My heart is held together with glue duck tape string and the unconditional love of a good man and family.  I am weak but strong, voiceless yet have a voice as loud as the bells on the top of Notre Dame. I'm a sinner, but my sins were for the best at times. I have hurt people but I have tried to help more. I am not perfect and I never will be. My body is broken and it will never fully heal. I may die, I may live. If I do die, I want to know I died loving as hard and as strong as I could, as unconditionally as I could, and the people I love know it.